protein-rich open trackbacks. CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS. |
November 16, 2008
Catblogging - A Trip to the Mall to Visit Santa
Here you see a picture of me, Boots, and Lucky with Santa at the local mall. Lucky is the orange one, and Boots is the one with the white feet. I'm the one who looks like he's planning to kill something.
The mall normally doesn't allow animals, but this was a special event sponsored by the Shutterfly people. The condition on getting your picture taken is that you had to be on a leash, so most people brought dogs. This means the line for the cat people was really short and we didn't have to wait very long. That's a good thing, because I'm not exactly a big fan of wearing a leash.
As usual, everybody wanted to pet Boots, and the silly ham just lapped it up. I can see why the soft fur and the big eyes are a survival trait, but it's a bit annoying for those of us who don't have the same advantages. On the way we stopped at a Starbuck's, where I learned that there is no such thing as a mozzarella creme latte. This is something Starbuck's should rectify if they want to come through this recession intact.
The scary part was when we passed a restaurant called the Rain Forest Cafe. Lucky was really intrigued by the big rocks they had in the front, but I could just sense that the place was full of liberals. I immediately launched myself in the opposite direction at full power, and in less than a second I received a sudden and painful reminder of why I hate leashes. Fortunately The Gremlin was there, and she let me hide my head in her coat so no one would recognize me.
Eventually, it was our turn for the picture with Santa. Because there were three of us, a lot of people gathered around to see what would happen. A trio of professional wranglers put us in position, then fled. The photographer rang a little bell, and when we looked up to see the source of the noise, he took the picture. There was a blinding flash of light, and then every single person in a fifty-foot radius cheered. The Girl Who Feeds Me negotiated the Internet rights to the picture while The Gremlin peeled me off the ceiling.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the picture. Just remember to be careful when you're in the vicinity of this Rain Forest Cafe place, and next time you're at a Starbuck's, do me a favor and ask them when they're going to start selling a mozzarella creme latte.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Sun 11:40 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Catblogging | Tags: Boots Christmas family humor liberals Lucky mozzarella cheese photos Rain Forest Cafe Santa Claus Starbuck's The Girl The Gremlin
November 15, 2008
The Ellie Zone - A Little Too Much of Everything Else
Welcome. Please follow me. Now, as soon as you read past this line, you will enter...
The Ellie Zone
This place is dangerous and wrought with horrible, awful things. Proceed at your own risk.
Alright. Now that the introduction is over with, it's time to get started. Basically, I'm just gonna talk about stuff, but that's not the fun part. The fun part, is something you'll have to find out. Hee hee hee....
Some of you may know this already, but I'm... weird. Well, maybe past weird. Maybe I'm insane, but that's what I've been hoping for all along, so maybe it's just wishful thinking. I've actually wondered what it would be like in one of those padded rooms...
I mean, think about it. You're in a room, where you can't move your arms, so you're constantly hugging yourself. Doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy? And that's not even all! The walls, the floor, even the ceiling (though I'm not sure how I'd get up there...) are all padded! So you could, technically, bounce off every single wall, fall on the ground, and still not get hurt! Imagine the fun one could have!!! I wonder if people could use this as an exercise facility... I mean, wouldn't running around and bouncing off stuff burn a lot of calories? It's too bad no one thought of this sooner. I could eat all the ice cream I want and keep in shape by bouncing around a padded room.
On that note, has anyone else noticed how insecure the common populace is? If they aren't abnormally thin, they think they're too fat. Now, I'm not saying this is everybody, I'm just saying that I'm noticing a trend. And the trend terrifies me.
The world in general is and has been saying that America has a problem with obesity. They got the fact that we have a problem right, they just messed up the problem. You see, it's not that we're all too fat, it's that we're all too thin. If we all stopped worrying what we looked like, the world would be a much happier place. But that's just wishful thinking again.
I'm not saying everyone's perfect. I'm not saying anyone's perfect. I'm just saying people focus too much on the little stuff. This is going to sound corny, but it's the inside that counts. Yes, I know, people repeat this time and time and time again, but apparently it's not enough, because it's just not getting through. We're saying it, but nobody's listening. They all think they're listening, but when was the last time you saw someone smile just because they were there? Yes, we're not perfect. Yes, we're not beautiful. But we should be rejoicing in that fact, instead of wallowing in it.
I mean, think about it. If everyone's ugly, what's the difference between this ugly and that ugly? Just pick a preference. It doesn't matter which. Someone's sure to disagree with you every single time. Come on. It's been proven. You can't please everybody.
I apologize now if I've offended everybody. I'm not trying to. I'm just saying what I think. It's just that what I think is a little wacky.
Smile,
Ellie the Gremlin
# At Sat 5:07 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More The Ellie Zone | Tags: body image culture exercise family humor insanity padded rooms The Gremlin weird
Visit the commenters: LeagoVagounak
November 11, 2008
Notes from Ferdy - Living in a Time Warp
Over the weekend, we received an EMAIL from Matt Kassens of St. Blogustine. Matt and his blogging partner Kevin Gleeson have designed a new bumper sticker which features the old liberal line about dissent being the highest form of patriotism along with the NObama logo. The theory is to subtly annoy Democrats by reminding them that their version of bipartisanship is a one-way street.
This got me thinking about the plans to create a new national holiday honoring Barack Obama. The guy hasn't done anything yet, and already he's a great hero. It's like we're living in a time warp. We're all evaluating the Obama presidency before it happens.
That's a dangerous practice. If you have somebody like John McCain about to sit in the Oval Office, you can make a pretty good educated guess about what he's going to do because he's been around for decades and you know how he operates. But with Obama, all we really know is that he's in favor of change, and there's evidence he's getting less specific about the changes now that's he been officially elected.
I have a different viewpoint. I live in Illinois, the state where Barack Obama learned how to play politics. Here in Illinois, we have a completely Democrat executive branch and a completely Democrat assembly, and they can't agree on anything with real substance in it. I have no idea what's going to happen in the next four years, except that we sure as heck aren't going to feel unified when it's over.
In the meantime, check out the new bumper sticker and have some fun with it.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Tue 12:30 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (2) | More Notes from Ferdy | Tags: Barack Obama bumper stickers conservative Democrats Illinois politics St. Blogustine
Visit the commenters: Michael St. Blogustine
November 8, 2008
Notes from Ferdy - The Dog Days of the Obama Era
Okay, it's been a rough couple of days for the new President-elect. First, there were problems with campaign workers not being paid. Then, during his first post-election press conference, he makes a lame joke about Nancy Reagan.
Argh.
Whatever virtues Barack Obama possesses, a sense of humor is not one of them. I pointed this out back in September, and I am a superior life form, after all.
But things are about to get worse. It turns out that Obama intends to adopt a dog. People, you have to do everything you can to stop him. The last thing a person who takes himself too seriously needs is an animal bred for slavish devotion. It's like asking an arsonist to go play with matches in a woodpile.
Call your local Democrat precinct office and tell them that if Obama goes through with this dog plan, his jokes are going to become so lame that the public will demand an impeachment just to shut the guy up. Obama needs a cat, not a dog.
This could get very bad.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Sat 1:17 AM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More Notes from Ferdy | Tags: Barack Obama cats Democrats dogs humor Nancy Reagan satire
Visit the commenters: Stanford Matthews
November 6, 2008
Catblogging - Nomenclature
It's not really a cat castle unless the Alpha Cat is sleeping on it.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Thu 8:21 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Catblogging | Tags: cats family humor
November 5, 2008
Notes from Ferdy - Money Talk
Okay, so maybe I was wrong and you can buy an election.
# At Wed 7:20 AM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Notes from Ferdy | Tags: Barack Obama campaign 2008 campaign finance reform conservative humor journalism Republicans
November 3, 2008
Catblogging - In the Final Analysis, Boots is Boots
No matter what happens, no matter who wins, no matter what calamities befall the nation and the world, Boots will still be the world's silliest cat.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Mon 9:08 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Catblogging | Tags: Boots cats family humor philosophy
Notes from Ferdy - The Amazing, Incredible, Stupendous, Wonderful, and Very, Very Nifty Dialectic Effect
Conservatives and liberals have very different ideas about the nature and cause of progress. To a conservative, progress is a matter of trial and error. You try different things and keep the one that works. At the end of the day, there are going to be the winners who had the right idea, and the losers who had the wrong one.
To a liberal, progress is a one-way street. There's no trial and error, and everybody wins: it's what they call The Dialectic.
# At Mon 2:03 AM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (5) | More Notes from Ferdy | Tags: Barack Obama communism conservative dialectic Georg Hegel history Karl Marx liberals philosophy politics
Visit the commenters: Blind Avocado Machiavelligz KentuckyJim KentuckyJim Vanessa
November 1, 2008
Adventures with Bruce - Halloween with the Family
I was asleep when The Gremlin left for school in the morning, so when she came back in the afternoon, I just about fainted. The image on the right is the real Gremlin; on the left is The Gremlin disguised as a teenage emo. Even her teachers didn't recognize her.
After several experiments, we determined that the key was the smile: when she's pouting, she's the Stranger Emo Girl; when she's smiling, she's my same old Gremlin.
More Halloween stories below the fold.
Continue reading "Halloween with the Family"
# At Sat 4:24 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More Adventures with Bruce | Tags: Boots candy cats family Halloween humor Lucky Nate The Gremlin
Visit the commenters: Michael
October 31, 2008
Confused Americans for Truth - The Crazy Obama Brother Rumors
In the Information Age, the smallest mistake can turn into an earth-shattering misunderstanding. Presumptive President-elect Barack Obama slipped up in his acceptance speech back in August, and then accidentally replayed the mistake during his infomercial the other day. As luck would have it, this very sound bite has been featured on every radio news broadcast I've heard in the past few days (and we listen to a lot of radio here).
The sound bite in question is one in which Obama says "I am my brother's keeper!" Conservatives have been ruthless about comparing Obama's statement against his actual generosity.
I've sworn I would continue to do my best to help Obama fight the smears against his character, and this one is no exception. Obama wasn't saying he wanted to go out and help people, he was saying the government is supposed to go out and help people. After all, isn't that exactly the job of a community organizer, to get the government to help the community?
So give the poor guy a break. He wanted to use a quote that everybody could recognize, and had to fudge the parameters a little. Honestly, if the voters can't figure out what this guy really stands for, in spite of what he says, then we're in real trouble.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Fri 2:32 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (1) | More Confused Americans for Truth | Tags: Barack Obama campaign 2008 charity conservative government humor liberals religion satire
Visit the commenters: D Bunker
October 30, 2008
Pushing Daisies - America Makes a Big Mistake
Last night American TV viewers had a chance to do something about real hope and substantive change, and instead they tuned in to some goofy political commercial. Basically, they picked Barack Obama (17.4 rating, 27 share) over Pushing Daisies (4.0 rating, 6 share).
Pushing Daisies is the brainchild of Bryan Fuller, who co-created Wonderfalls the only television show in the past two decades whose main characters were sympathetic conservatives. Whereas most TV shows are about finding villains, Wonderfalls was about finding the hidden good in all of us. Pushing Daisies is a little more orthodox-- the main characters solve murders-- but it maintains the same sheen of hope and decency that permeates Fuller's earlier work. In Bad Habits, which aired two weeks ago, the protagonists went to a nunnery, and instead of a pit of corruption, they found a bunch of decent people of faith trying to do the right thing.
Real hope does not come from waiting for the government to steal from the rich and give to the poor. It comes from individual people trying in small ways to make the world a better place. That way, people get the help they need instead of what some faceless bureaucrat thinks they should have. Pushing Daisies has the trappings of a fairy tale, but it's more real than any of the sob stories being paraded in front of you by either major party during this campaign. For the past two years, as the government has lurched through dumb ideas and dangerous mistakes, Pushing Daisies has been an important tool for keeping my spirits up.
I don't believe in getting angry, but if you let my favorite TV show get canceled, I'm going to make an exception.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Thu 10:13 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (0) | More Pushing Daisies | Tags: Bryan Fuller conservative philosophy Pushing Daisies ratings television
October 28, 2008
Catblogging - Holding On to the Things That Matter
Here you see a picture of me with The Gremlin's right arm. Note that I've inserted one claw into her wristband. My theory is that if I hold onto her, she won't get any crazy ideas about moving back to North Dakota.
It's no guarantee, but you can't be too careful when it comes to the people you love.
Respectfully submitted,
Ferdinand T. Cat
# At Tue 6:45 PM | Permalink | Trackback URI | Comments (2) | More Catblogging | Tags: cats family love North Dakota The Gremlin
Visit the commenters: Ferdy Michael
